What is Love?
Love in the romantic sense I believe is a relationship between two people. It is not simply a feeling or a neurochemical reaction in the brain, nor is it physical attraction or obsession. We don’t have specific reasons why we love. If we can clearly list the reasons why we love someone then we don’t actually love them. Such a situation would be admiration or another more logical relationship. Love on the other hand is had despite flaws and attraction. To love someone is not to simply appreciate their qualities, but to be connected to something deeper. This may be said to be a soul, but such religious ideas are perhaps not the best to use. It is more about the fundamental aspect of the person you care about. It is not simply their personality: this could be replicated or someone else could have the same or a very similar personality. If it were simply about finding a matching personality then you would be in love with everyone who had chemistry with you. It is not so mechanical as simply finding the right match, instead it is about what makes you you, and what makes them them. It is about the core of who you are that cannot change.
My theory, while not original, is that every person has one soul mate. This does not necessarily mean that love is pre-determined. It might require the two people to form a bond, connecting the fundamental nature of the two people.
If love is simply a compulsive attraction towards someone caused by chemicals in the brain, then it is meaningless. I choose not to believe this theory. Under this theory, being in a romantic relationship would simply mean following orders. For some arbitrary reason you would have been ordered to like this person and want to be with them, and instead of questioning that you just went along. This is not to say that all relationships would be best avoided in this case, but it would mean our lives are not quite as meaningful as they could have been. This alternative is worse in my opinion, and without any real evidence to decide either way, I choose not to believe this option.
My theory is based on personal experience. It is difficult, if not impossible to know if what one feels is true love. There could be a “truer” love that one has not yet felt. Despite that, one must try to determine if what they feel towards someone is simply physical attraction, admiration, or another form, or if it is more than that. True love is infinitely more meaningful, worthy, and complex than those emotions. Where they are rational, love is so far mysterious. Perhaps it is psychic in nature, or perhaps it is a philosophical manifestation of some sort. I don’t know. This is more of a working theory than a proper essay. What I do know is that the other forms of romantic relationships, such as physical ones, or obsession or admiration, are not as worthy. There is nothing wrong with them, but they are hardly worth pursuing.
Other relationships, such as a best friend, are meaningful. I would say that love is similar to this type, but is superior to it as it runs deeper between the two people. It is also different, since anyone could be your best friend, but when you love someone you feel a unique way about them.
I don’t think love is simply an evolutionary way to make people procreate, or to create a safe environment for children. I hope and believe that love transcends reason, without being illogical, but instead as not needing a reason. It would justify itself.
Love is more than an emotion, it is a relationship that makes two people one.