When I used to see an online “news” article titled:
“Person does ordinary thing. What happens next will blow your mind and your life will never be the same again.”
I used to think they were just Buzzfeed articles or the like meant to garner clicks and pageviews. It’s very clearly meant to pull you in. They’re telling you something is extremely important and that it will blow your $%&/@#~ mind up, but instead of writing what this super important thing is in the title, they just inform you “Hey look, something important.”
“This man developed a super computer virus that activates when you click on a fake news article no one can stop. You’ll never guess what happened next”
It is absolutely illogical to have something important to say, but instead of just saying it, you tell someone it’s important.
“This girl adopted fluffy pink puppies and kittens and rabbits and wabbits. What she did next will literally detonate your @#~€’n brain.”
WHAT DID SHE DO? I NEED TO KNOW. RIGHT NOW. BUT WHY WON’T YOU TELL ME?!? WHY!?!?!?!??!?!?
MUST CLICK ON ARTICLE
“Could this be the cure for that problem you have? Click here to find out.”
NO I’M NOT CLICKING ON YOUR DAMN FAKE ARTICLE, I DON’T CARE HOW MUCH IT WILL SAVE ME ON CAR INSURANCE
“Man saves wild rabid polar bear shark whale from traffic. What it does next will warm your heart and restore your faith in humanity”
THAT’S NOT EVEN A THING
“Boy opens present. What comes out will make you rich give you 12 Ferraris a private F-22 Raptor and get you all da 8!+#3z”
Eventually this $#!% is just going to be “Click here.” and “[Insert Title Here]”
“Hey, hey buddy. You want this one step easy way to make money? You want the secret to the stock market life and the universe? Comon, click here. It’s really easy. Infact it’s so easy that it’s actually just a number. Click here to see it. It’s just two digits. Infact it could probably have just been the title of this news article that has nothing to do with what you thought it was and instead is just non content or an advertisement. But click here.”
I don’t want to click on these simply because they look so disingenuous.
“#~€¬ u click here.”
SERIOUSLY, HOW DO PEOPLE FALL FOR THIS ·$%&?