Dear Air Conditioner,
THIS F$%&#@ PLACE IS THE ONLY PLACE WHERE I FREEZE MY ASS OFF INDOORS AFTER SWEATING LIKE A B!%#$ OUTSIDE. HOW IS IT THAT EVERY DAMN BUILDING HERE HAS AIR CONDITIONING ON AT SUCH A LOW TEMPERATURE THAT I HAVE TO CONSISTENTLY CARRY A JACKET WITH ME TO WEAR INDOORS! THAT’S NOT HOW JACKETS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK! PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I HAVE A JACKET WHEN IT’S SUNNY AND I’M SWEATING, F$%& YOU, THAT’S WHY! ALSO BECAUSE YOU’RE GOING TO GET FROSTBITE WHEN WE GO INDOORS WHILE I’LL BE FINE. ALSO IT MIGHT RAIN. IT HAPPENS.
EVERYONE ELSE IS ON A BEACH IN 500% HUMIDITY WHILE I’M SIMULTANEOUSLY CATCHING PNEUMONIA AND BRONCHITIS BECAUSE I CAN’T CONTROL THE DAMN AIR CONDITIONING. I GET THAT YOU WANT IT TO BE COOL BUT WHAT THE F$%&#@ S$%&, I CAN’T FEEL MY @$$ ANYMORE. YOU SAY THIS IS TO REDUCE HUMIDITY TO AVOID FUNGUS? OK, COOL (literally), BUT PLEASE STOP USING INDUSTRIAL GRADE MEATBOX REFRIGERATION. AND IT’S EVERY DAMN BUILDING I GO TO! THERE ARE SO MANY AIR CONDITIONERS ON RUNNING SO HARD TO PUMP OUT THE HEAT THEY’RE GENERATING THAT IT’S PROBABLY THE SOLE CAUSE OF THIS PLACE BEING SUBTROPICAL.
The temperature doesn’t even seem to be what bothers me. it’s that everytime the f$%&#@ AC turns on it spits out freezing @$$ cold air to attempt to regulate the temperature like the derpy f$%&#@ s$%& it is. Right at me. I know that people find extremes easier but $%&/·& f$&&%” $%&”, you do not lower the hot temperature from X by using negative X temperature air. I swear it’s like the only refrigeration that exists here is cryogenic liquid nitrogen. AND THE DAMN AIR CONDITIONER KEEPS RUNNING EVEN WHEN I CAN CONTROL IT AND RAISE THE TEMPERATURE. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO REALISE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO STOP? You know I never understood why people had air conditioners on the side of buildings, it always looked like they would accidentally fall off. Now I understand why. It’s not accidentally.